A few weekends ago we attempted a trip to Clear Creek Hot Springs. We've been there a couple of times now and we've always managed to make it all the way (except when we owned the diesel van, Vanny - it didn't have enough power to make it up the rock scree).
|Going up the Clear Creek FS Road|
Miscommunication happens so easily, and will happen a lot in your life. In the words we say, in the words we write, or in our body language; people will either interpret what you say incorrectly, or you will not be clear in the way you communicate. It's a part of life.
So why didn't we make it to the hot springs? Panic and a failure to communicate our feelings clearly to one and other. Yes, there were some tough spots, like sliding backwards towards a cliff, but your dad knew what he was doing. We just didn't trust his judgement and instead of talking to him about how you were feeling you panicked. And the tears didn't help either.
"Stop the car!"I huffed upset, trying to stay calm in the chaos, "Girls OUT!" Hysterics set in and I knew I had to get the two of you out of the car and fast. No one could think properly in the frenzy you were making and I wanted your dad to have the opportunity to think clearly on that high mountain road.
So... I removed you from the vehicle. I should have told your dad what I was doing. My words and actions made him think that I was afraid as well, and that I didn't trust him. That's why he turned the car around 6km away from the hot springs.
In stressful situations our panic makes things worse for all concerned. Calmly, we need to talk about the situation and tell each other what's going on inside our heads, so we can make the best decision on what course of action works the best for all concerned. Turning around was the best decision in this situation. Your father heard you loud and clear, "Get me off this mountain!... I want to go down."
We are communicating all the time with our words, eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes. How do we communicate well with one and other? Now, I'm no expert and I still have a lot to learn, but I'd like to share with you some of the things I've learned along the way.
1. Watch - people's body language will tell you a lot.
2. Listen - just stop talking for a while and listen and hear.
3. Take time to respond - take time to formulate what you want to say, go over it in your mind before it come out of your mouth. Ask yourself, "is it clear?"
4. Ask people the question, "Is this what you meant?" and repeat what they've just said. That way if you've misunderstood, they have another chance to relay the message more clearly.
If our body language says one thing but our words say another, guess what happens? Miscommunication. If we don't speak the same language and use the wrong words in a sentence, what happens? Miscommunication. If our hearing is impaired or we aren't paying attention, what happens?...
"Goodnight sweetie." I said, and kissed you, and tucked you into bed tonight.
"Can you snuggle?" You looked pretty darn cute when you said it, but I had work to do.
"I'm going to write a blog." I answered. You looked confused.
"You're going to walk the dog?"
"...we are all human. We make mistakes. We're vulnerable. We're not perfect. The thing that interferes most with communications, at times, is our attempt to prove that we're not vulnerable - to keep a stiff upper lip or to appear macho in the face of imagined attacks... After all, most people are just like you. They're human. They care. They're sympathetic. They're supportive. People want you to succeed. Show them that you care about them... An awareness of your own vulnerability and the vulnerability of others will make you a better and more human communicator." Roger Ailes from 'You are the Message - Getting What You Want by Being Who You Are'